I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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