forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
