the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
