i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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