Jerry, you need to find god
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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