he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
zippers are such a cool invention
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's never too late to be topless.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
