I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
