i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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