Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
