eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
