Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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