I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
