i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
