You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
