the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i barfeds in our rink
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
COCAINE IS GR8
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize