so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
