overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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