We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
