yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
