Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he high fived his dick after we had sex
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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