PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
