But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
