i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
