Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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