i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They took my balls.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
