i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize