She said her name was "party"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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