it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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