i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize