Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
