guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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