We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
