It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Screwed.edu
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
