I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
