ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
