Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
