Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So gin and wine won't be happening again
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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