My boss' voice literally gives me gas
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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