He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
foreskin is a definite game changer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
