Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize