BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
