just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
