So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
