He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
