SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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