Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
