when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
