I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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