If i come over, it means nothing
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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