i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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