dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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