That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
