Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
