Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
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