So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
