Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
