just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
