He is an equal opportunity slut.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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