whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
