I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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